Daddy Issues — Two Dads, One Person
Jekyll and Hyde and me
I’m just sliding in on the “Dad’s June Story” deadline for #storynation. Well, it’s the last day of June so I made it.
Maybe because Dad…
Well, Dad’s a loaded story.
Now, I can’t talk for the rest of the siblings. I can only talk for me. Here goes:
He was a working man. We got by. Amazingly enough for 6 kids, 1 wife, 1 mother-in-law all living under the same tiny roof.
My dad was two very distinct dads. The dad when we were very young. The dad when we hit early puberty.
When we were young — he was fun. He was — to use a 2021 term — “present.” He played with us — he was goofy — he could illustrate — made books for us, did “dad” things — be involved. I mean, kind of. It was still the ’50s, people. A drop-in dad after the office, after the 6:30 dinner. But these times were definitely not crumbs for us. We worshiped him.
Yet — even as a little kid — I saw how the deep freeze was headed my way. I saw it with my older sisters. Soon my dad was going to retreat …
And that’s exactly what happened.
Ten-years-old.
He faded.
And lavished attention on the next one down.
Like I said. There were many of us.
Was it for the obvious reason — his little girls were growing titties, becoming mini women? Maybe…
Post freeze out, we girls hardened. We didn’t expect much from Dad.
Upon graduating high school and contemplating art school Dad laid it out for me:
“Well, what do you want, Maryjane? The green Mustang you keep talking about? Or art school? Either way, you know you are on your own.”
I didn’t care about the money — I knew that — but I was amused — even at 16 — that he was equating a car with my possible future life as an artist.
I decided against the green mustang (WHA???). My oldest sister found the right art school, a scholarship and a loan to get me through.
We fathered each other.
In hindsight, Dad’s absence may have helped me and my sibs on our path to Glorious Broadum. We’re independent as hell. We’re funny and we all got ourselves educated, yes siree. We are loyal and we are fierce. And his withholding taught us what NOT to do — once you’re in our camp we never ever walk away. Ever.
Dad — you were complicated and confusing, but also a great dad. For a while. But the real thanks goes to my sibs — I wouldn’t have made it without you.
Who fathered you to be the GB you are today?
